It's over. Last class finished.
It seems like my last journal entry should contain some profound reflective thoughts, summarizing ways I have grown and things I have learned. But instead, I really have nothing to say but this:
I'll never be the same again.
Humorously, I was late to class to day. I have not been late to a single class during my entire placement. (A nearly unbelievable thing as those who know me well can testify!) I have been on time. Not always prepped and prepared like I wanted to be. But I've been in the room when I was supposed to be.
Today I was working on writing an essay and really got into it. I finished and punched the save button with a satisfied air of accomplishment. I was about to pull up my email and send it off to Mrs. Walden when I glanced at the clock.
I was to have been in class at 4:35.
Anyways, I had my students fill out a "Grade Your Student Teacher" form for my portfolio and the results were insightful. The Seniors think I should give less homework, be more prepared for class, and have more constructive activities. The Freshmen think I'm fun, that I care about them, I make things clear, they can tell I like kids and that I always have constructive activities.
Confirmation once again that I fit better in the lower grades than the upper.
My die-hard Quadrant 2 said that I don't act like a teacher is supposed to, but commented three times that the lessons were very practical and clear.
Firecracker thinks I should work on being more awesome like him...
In some ways I wish I could leave here feeling like my time here has made some sort of a difference. Maybe I compare teaching too much with canvassing where the life-changing impact on students is so concentrated that it's easy to see growth and change. Perhaps I shouldn't wish for results I can see, but thank God for the results that are promised.
All in all, at the end of the day I am grateful.
Grateful for what I know, for what I now know that I don't know, and for knowing better where to go when I want to know.
Its been real.